Round and round it goes, when will it stop nobody knows...........but I want to know. These few days I feel like I'm on a merry-go-round, spinning and spinning non-stop. I'm on it and I don't know when it will stop, I just want it to stop.
I'm just stuck on that ride, I really want to stop it, the spinning, spinning back to the same place in circles over and over again. I'm getting tired, dizzy from all of it. I wish I could just halt it now. Everytime it seems like the ride is going to stop, it starts again. It slows down towards the end and suddenly it's spinning and again. I wanna get down, I wanna stand firm on my feet.
Slowly, I get down from the pony I'm on. I walk to the edge of the ride, as I was about to jump down, a hand held me back and the ride stopped. I didn't get hurt from the ride and I got out unexpectedly. I look at the person who held onto me. What a wonderful person is He. He protected me from getting hurt. Whenever I feel like I'm on a merry-go-round and about to jump, well He was there. I finally know that I can only depend on him and him alone.
My ride is slowing down, someday it will stop and I will get down and stand firm on my feet and next to me , My God :D
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Reflecting my holidays
Time flies, 2 months just whisk pass me and tmr I'm back in college for my orientation. My final year of studying has arrived, it's exciting, it's a bit scary too, it's what I've been waiting for? Well I don't know what's in for my final year except the part of having a final year project.
So here I sit looking back at what I did for the holidays. So I had a list of what I want to achieve:
1. Finish up my java 2 book lessons
2. Finish up my C++ lessons
3. Read up on books which I haven't finish
4. Think of a FYP title
5. Change my bad attitude
6. Get closer to God
7. Start and complete my ecology website
8. Learn yoga from mom
9. Finish reading self-help books
All above are what I planned for my holidays, but I only succeeded in item no. 4,5,6 and half of 7. Wow!! I still wasted lots of time doing things that I didn't quite remember. I think most of the time I am sleeping, chatting, watching shows/anime/dvd, and reading the Holy Bible. The most useful thing I did was seeking God constantly. I feel proud of it but I also feel disappointed at myself for not achieving the rest. It tells how well I manage my time, when there is too much time I can't manage it well, when there is too little time I also can't manage it well. It's time to learn time management, but being to organised makes life less interesting :p.
I love challenges that come my way. I take it on, I try my best and well He is guiding me :D. Lately I have been thinking a lot bout my final year and all. I have a good feeling about it, I'm not worried or scared, it's definitely the next challenge in my life but I go through it, I just know somehow, can't really explain that feeling of assurance.
Anyway, the ecophesto website will be up but delayed. I will get it done even if I have to do everything myself. It's something that must be done because it's my passion and a promise that I would get it done
So here I sit looking back at what I did for the holidays. So I had a list of what I want to achieve:
1. Finish up my java 2 book lessons
2. Finish up my C++ lessons
3. Read up on books which I haven't finish
4. Think of a FYP title
5. Change my bad attitude
6. Get closer to God
7. Start and complete my ecology website
8. Learn yoga from mom
9. Finish reading self-help books
All above are what I planned for my holidays, but I only succeeded in item no. 4,5,6 and half of 7. Wow!! I still wasted lots of time doing things that I didn't quite remember. I think most of the time I am sleeping, chatting, watching shows/anime/dvd, and reading the Holy Bible. The most useful thing I did was seeking God constantly. I feel proud of it but I also feel disappointed at myself for not achieving the rest. It tells how well I manage my time, when there is too much time I can't manage it well, when there is too little time I also can't manage it well. It's time to learn time management, but being to organised makes life less interesting :p.
I love challenges that come my way. I take it on, I try my best and well He is guiding me :D. Lately I have been thinking a lot bout my final year and all. I have a good feeling about it, I'm not worried or scared, it's definitely the next challenge in my life but I go through it, I just know somehow, can't really explain that feeling of assurance.
Anyway, the ecophesto website will be up but delayed. I will get it done even if I have to do everything myself. It's something that must be done because it's my passion and a promise that I would get it done
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
A little sleep, a little slumber
I finally got up at 7:30 am, was trying for 7:00 am, but I laze on my bed for half an hour, what a waste of time.
Proverbs 6:9-11
How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
When will you get up from your sleep?
A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest-,
and poverty will come on you like a bandit,
and scarcity like an armed man.
While I was lying in bed this verse hit me hard. My wonderful CG leader made us memorise this and it was very useful indeed. It reminded me that I have been spending too much time with the bed during this holiday and it is time to get up. So I woke up and did my devotion and God sent me another message to tell me not to waste time. The message was to live life to the fullest for Christ. That is something that I want to achieve each and every day. To stay in bed is wasting time whilst I can do things which are more useful.
This whole week I'm gonna discipline myself to wake up early every morning, it may seem that there is nothing to do but actually there is plenty of things you can do. Surfing the net to gain knowledge is good. Playing some sudoku to keep your brain moving all the time. A little sleep and a little slumber means laziness, poverty can be described in many ways, it can represent your knowledge, your fortune, your attitude. You can be poor in many ways and it doesn't only apply to finances or your wealth. It can also be you are poor in knowledge, poor in attitude where you have a bad attitude.
So my fellow friends, it is time to spend less on bed and more on working and doing things that are meaningful, else poverty will come to you like the Word of God in the Holy Bible. Wake up from your slumber and enjoy the fresh air that every morning has to offer!!
Proverbs 6:9-11
How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
When will you get up from your sleep?
A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest-,
and poverty will come on you like a bandit,
and scarcity like an armed man.
While I was lying in bed this verse hit me hard. My wonderful CG leader made us memorise this and it was very useful indeed. It reminded me that I have been spending too much time with the bed during this holiday and it is time to get up. So I woke up and did my devotion and God sent me another message to tell me not to waste time. The message was to live life to the fullest for Christ. That is something that I want to achieve each and every day. To stay in bed is wasting time whilst I can do things which are more useful.
This whole week I'm gonna discipline myself to wake up early every morning, it may seem that there is nothing to do but actually there is plenty of things you can do. Surfing the net to gain knowledge is good. Playing some sudoku to keep your brain moving all the time. A little sleep and a little slumber means laziness, poverty can be described in many ways, it can represent your knowledge, your fortune, your attitude. You can be poor in many ways and it doesn't only apply to finances or your wealth. It can also be you are poor in knowledge, poor in attitude where you have a bad attitude.
So my fellow friends, it is time to spend less on bed and more on working and doing things that are meaningful, else poverty will come to you like the Word of God in the Holy Bible. Wake up from your slumber and enjoy the fresh air that every morning has to offer!!
Tuesday, November 7, 2006
What is real love?
This is something that I would love to share with those who are searching for love. One of the needs of humans is LOVE. As humans we can never survive without love, it is what everyone wants and needs to live on with their life. I have come to realise that people without love are often depressed and might even try to end their life.
Love comes from many places such as your family, your friends, your spouse, your lover. workplace and all that you can think of. But some of those "love" might not be real. Fake one or artificial one too. Whatever that I'm about to write is not from me but from the bible itself.
Marks of real love:
1. Suffers long
2. Is kind
3. Does not envy
4. Does not parade itself
5. Is not puffed up
6. Does not behave rudely
7. Does not seek its own
8. Is not provoked
9. Thinks no evil
10. Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth
11. Bears all things
12. Believes all things
13. Hopes all things
14. Endures all things
All from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. After reading all these, the first I thought of is our parents and Jesus. How about our friends? Well some will manage to love you like that but some would not be able to. But ask yourself? Can you love your friends that way? We should all try and learn to love everyone around us like that, even our enemies.
The person I know who can love me this way is Jesus and my God. So if you are still searching for love, it's just right around the corner, beside you, He is waiting for you to accept His love for you. The love that was around at the past, present and the future.
Love comes from many places such as your family, your friends, your spouse, your lover. workplace and all that you can think of. But some of those "love" might not be real. Fake one or artificial one too. Whatever that I'm about to write is not from me but from the bible itself.
Marks of real love:
1. Suffers long
2. Is kind
3. Does not envy
4. Does not parade itself
5. Is not puffed up
6. Does not behave rudely
7. Does not seek its own
8. Is not provoked
9. Thinks no evil
10. Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth
11. Bears all things
12. Believes all things
13. Hopes all things
14. Endures all things
All from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. After reading all these, the first I thought of is our parents and Jesus. How about our friends? Well some will manage to love you like that but some would not be able to. But ask yourself? Can you love your friends that way? We should all try and learn to love everyone around us like that, even our enemies.
The person I know who can love me this way is Jesus and my God. So if you are still searching for love, it's just right around the corner, beside you, He is waiting for you to accept His love for you. The love that was around at the past, present and the future.
Sunday, November 5, 2006
My 21st birthday!!
Woah!! I'm 21 and it doesn't make any difference, my dad still treat me as his little girl :P. Anyway I had a dinner party and I think everyone enjoyed the food :D. It was a good party, everyone had fun. We played two games of Mafia, it was funny. One thing that I didn't like was :p 7.30 became 8++ where people start to come, LOL. Next time must say earlier.
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Thursday, November 2, 2006
Life is like a boat
A small hut, a shelter ,a home, a secured place. Looking outside you see the clear blue sea, white sandy beach, the reflection of the sea shines in your eyes. Pop a thought comes into your head, a wonderful day to ride a boat and just read in the middle of the sea.
Out you go, out of that beautiful comfy hut. Across that sandy beach, into a boat (what boat is according your own imagination). So out you go, sailing that beautiful sea. The sea is so calm that reading a book doesn't give you a headache from all the tiny waves. Just calm, no waves. You see fishes swimming , you see the beautiful coral.
Sitting there in your boat, you enjoy the wonderful breeze. What a wonderful life you have. Then the sky darkens, waves start to form. Your boat starts to rock. You're afraid, you wanna be back at your hut.
So do we all start our lives like this? Yes, in the start you are protected in your hut which represents your home. Our parents have always tried to protect from this world, since we were young up until now. When the story states that you are on the boat, those are our teenage years, probably age 16 to whatever age you are now. Our lives start to have a bit of drama, a bit of problems (major or small), it's rocking your life. No more smooth sails. So how do i relate life and boat? I'm considering the part of our teenage years till now. So firstly we have smooth sailing, studying in high school, what major problems can you get? I doubt those are major at all.
So from there we enter college/ university, things might shake a bit, you meet new people, socializing starts to complicate, relationships come, backstabbing comes in group projects perhaps. So a boat similar to our lives will rock, will be stable at times. Life is full of drama, we may never seem to realise it. We often dream of having lives like those in the movies/tv series.
Somehow I lost track of what I wanted to write :P. Anyway I think no matter how life changes, stable or unstable, there is someone to keep you calm in these matters. Can you guess who? Knowing me it will be God of course :P. Currently I'm having a bit of a matter, deciding what to do for my FYP (final year project). I'm stuck in between two ideas which came to me from lots of prayers. Somehow I think one path was open for me by God. I don't know whether He is telling me to take that road or the other. Both road seems interesting, but both hard at the same time.
I'm so frustated on what to do now, 3 more week to college starts!!
Out you go, out of that beautiful comfy hut. Across that sandy beach, into a boat (what boat is according your own imagination). So out you go, sailing that beautiful sea. The sea is so calm that reading a book doesn't give you a headache from all the tiny waves. Just calm, no waves. You see fishes swimming , you see the beautiful coral.
Sitting there in your boat, you enjoy the wonderful breeze. What a wonderful life you have. Then the sky darkens, waves start to form. Your boat starts to rock. You're afraid, you wanna be back at your hut.
So do we all start our lives like this? Yes, in the start you are protected in your hut which represents your home. Our parents have always tried to protect from this world, since we were young up until now. When the story states that you are on the boat, those are our teenage years, probably age 16 to whatever age you are now. Our lives start to have a bit of drama, a bit of problems (major or small), it's rocking your life. No more smooth sails. So how do i relate life and boat? I'm considering the part of our teenage years till now. So firstly we have smooth sailing, studying in high school, what major problems can you get? I doubt those are major at all.
So from there we enter college/ university, things might shake a bit, you meet new people, socializing starts to complicate, relationships come, backstabbing comes in group projects perhaps. So a boat similar to our lives will rock, will be stable at times. Life is full of drama, we may never seem to realise it. We often dream of having lives like those in the movies/tv series.
Somehow I lost track of what I wanted to write :P. Anyway I think no matter how life changes, stable or unstable, there is someone to keep you calm in these matters. Can you guess who? Knowing me it will be God of course :P. Currently I'm having a bit of a matter, deciding what to do for my FYP (final year project). I'm stuck in between two ideas which came to me from lots of prayers. Somehow I think one path was open for me by God. I don't know whether He is telling me to take that road or the other. Both road seems interesting, but both hard at the same time.
I'm so frustated on what to do now, 3 more week to college starts!!
Saturday, October 21, 2006
The riddle
Long since I updated, well I think I only update when something inspires me, a msg from God perhaps. So the thing that gave me inspiration is the song "The riddle" from Five for Fighting. A great song like all the other songs of theirs that top the charts. So the chorus here hits me where I will relate to the message that I am soon to share.
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
So do we really know our reason being in this great big world that God made? Some of us know, some of us are still searching. For those who know, is it really your reason being here? One thing is for sure, we who believe in God will receive that reason because God created us for a reason. That reason is something that we should do, our purpose here shall be done only by us. Each of us have a different purpose, if we sway away what will happen to God's great plan for this world? I wish to know but why make your own purpose for yourself when God already prepared one for you. God always knows what's best for us, by following that purpose, we are walking a path that has been made for us. Everything is laid down, all we have to do is follow. While God walks in front, we only need to follow. Sounds easy huh? I guess it is easy, like I've said there will be hard times but God prepared it therefore He will lead you through it.
Having said all these do I have proof? I do, what I am going through now is proof enough that God has made a plan for me. Sometimes you'll have this feeling that you do not know where you are going but at the same time you know where ever it is, its a wonderful place. I'm following Him and my life have been filled with much joy, every hole I fall in, there is a reason for it and I learn from it. This life of mine have never been better ever since the day I gave it all to Him, My Lord , My Saviour. When I felt that God was not leading, He has reassured me that He is by someone who prayed for me.
Anyway aside from my spiritual journey, I am currently working on the environmental website that I said I will. Things are ok for now, I have made a temporary website. check it out when I am online,
http://sonea.no-ip.org/ecophesto
Nothing there yet, because I am working on the admin functions. Soon we will implement the user function after we settle our interface design. My birthday is coming soon :P, 4th of Nov, lucky for me it's a saturday. So I'll be having a small celebration only with a few friends over, hope to see them soon. It's the holidays and here I am pondering on something fun :P. Nintendo dslite, yeap that is something that I wanted for quite sometime, saved for it, gonna get it next monday where my dad will chip in half while i pay the other half. My birthday present for myself and half from my dad :P
Will update once i get that console of mine :P
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
So do we really know our reason being in this great big world that God made? Some of us know, some of us are still searching. For those who know, is it really your reason being here? One thing is for sure, we who believe in God will receive that reason because God created us for a reason. That reason is something that we should do, our purpose here shall be done only by us. Each of us have a different purpose, if we sway away what will happen to God's great plan for this world? I wish to know but why make your own purpose for yourself when God already prepared one for you. God always knows what's best for us, by following that purpose, we are walking a path that has been made for us. Everything is laid down, all we have to do is follow. While God walks in front, we only need to follow. Sounds easy huh? I guess it is easy, like I've said there will be hard times but God prepared it therefore He will lead you through it.
Having said all these do I have proof? I do, what I am going through now is proof enough that God has made a plan for me. Sometimes you'll have this feeling that you do not know where you are going but at the same time you know where ever it is, its a wonderful place. I'm following Him and my life have been filled with much joy, every hole I fall in, there is a reason for it and I learn from it. This life of mine have never been better ever since the day I gave it all to Him, My Lord , My Saviour. When I felt that God was not leading, He has reassured me that He is by someone who prayed for me.
Anyway aside from my spiritual journey, I am currently working on the environmental website that I said I will. Things are ok for now, I have made a temporary website. check it out when I am online,
http://sonea.no-ip.org/ecophesto
Nothing there yet, because I am working on the admin functions. Soon we will implement the user function after we settle our interface design. My birthday is coming soon :P, 4th of Nov, lucky for me it's a saturday. So I'll be having a small celebration only with a few friends over, hope to see them soon. It's the holidays and here I am pondering on something fun :P. Nintendo dslite, yeap that is something that I wanted for quite sometime, saved for it, gonna get it next monday where my dad will chip in half while i pay the other half. My birthday present for myself and half from my dad :P
Will update once i get that console of mine :P
Monday, October 2, 2006
Life goes on...
There are many struggles in life, mine are not as bad as what other ppl have. People who have cancer, AIDS, I think their struggle is so much different and difficult than the struggles of a student. Cancer patients struggle to stay alive as well as AIDS patient. Some AIDS patient have to struggle to be accepted in the society, many of them are being looked down, we should show more love to children with HIV positive, its easier said than done becoz of the fear of being infected. Other struggles of HIV ppl is to earn money for their medication, medicine that will prolong their life.
So what are my struggles that made me despressed? heartbroken, lost and no sense of identity. These struggles are normal for most people, so how dare I say it's difficult compared to other ppl who are in much worse situation than I am. Struggles like mine can be taken away easily, the key? To seek God. I have learnt many lessons in life from the Holy Bible, and I am sure that these struggles are things that God wanted me to go through and He will lead me through it. There is always a lesson that God is teaching, these struggles are used to mold the person who we are going to become. We have to change to be prepare for God's plan for us.
I do not know where I am going but I'm taking step by step and God is holding my hand and assuring me that everything will be ok. The heartbreaks, the emptiness and not knowing who to be, God taking it away one by one. I wish I could get rid all of it at once but through time is where I'll learn my lesson from my Father. We should always be thankful from the position that God has put us. IF you are reading this then you are definetly in a better position than those who struggle for life, food and from poverty. Thank God everyday! Give God your life, He will run it better than we do.
My fav song from paradise live newest album "Set Me Free": Assuredly Yours
All that I am is in you
All that I seek is to follow You
I run to Your side when You call
There is the hope I am longing for
Just to be by Your side
There is hope in my life
There is no greater freedom I'll find
chorus:
Take my life
and all that i have to give
Take my world
just inhabit all of it
Take my dreams
make me assuredly yours
What a wonderful song!! It certainly says it all in my heart. Will you let God take your life? He is waiting and all you have to do is open that door. Life is so much interesting with God by your side. He is always there looking upon us. There will be good and bad times but that is what God wants you to go through and He will be there with you all the way.
So what are my struggles that made me despressed? heartbroken, lost and no sense of identity. These struggles are normal for most people, so how dare I say it's difficult compared to other ppl who are in much worse situation than I am. Struggles like mine can be taken away easily, the key? To seek God. I have learnt many lessons in life from the Holy Bible, and I am sure that these struggles are things that God wanted me to go through and He will lead me through it. There is always a lesson that God is teaching, these struggles are used to mold the person who we are going to become. We have to change to be prepare for God's plan for us.
I do not know where I am going but I'm taking step by step and God is holding my hand and assuring me that everything will be ok. The heartbreaks, the emptiness and not knowing who to be, God taking it away one by one. I wish I could get rid all of it at once but through time is where I'll learn my lesson from my Father. We should always be thankful from the position that God has put us. IF you are reading this then you are definetly in a better position than those who struggle for life, food and from poverty. Thank God everyday! Give God your life, He will run it better than we do.
My fav song from paradise live newest album "Set Me Free": Assuredly Yours
All that I am is in you
All that I seek is to follow You
I run to Your side when You call
There is the hope I am longing for
Just to be by Your side
There is hope in my life
There is no greater freedom I'll find
chorus:
Take my life
and all that i have to give
Take my world
just inhabit all of it
Take my dreams
make me assuredly yours
What a wonderful song!! It certainly says it all in my heart. Will you let God take your life? He is waiting and all you have to do is open that door. Life is so much interesting with God by your side. He is always there looking upon us. There will be good and bad times but that is what God wants you to go through and He will be there with you all the way.
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