What To Say Next

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but you're so weird," she says. I look at her, or at least her chin, and discover that an offhand comment by Kit can disrupt my respiration. "But good weird, you know?"

Good weird.

Good weird is what I've been telling myself I am for years, when being just plain weird was too much of a burdern to carry. Good weird is the only solution to the problem, when normal isn't a viable option. Good weird may very well be the opposite of cool, but I've never aspired to cool. At least, not the version I'm familiar with.

"Thank you/"

"Speaking of weird, I have a random question for you. What can you tell me about quantum mechanics?" Kit asks, and a shiver makes its way from the bottom of my spine all the way to the top.

My sister suggested that I think up some small-talk ideas in case Kit came back to my table today.

Top of my list?

Quantum mechanics.

It's almost enough to make me reconsider the entire concept of fate. - excerpt from book.

What To Say Next by Julie Buxbaum is about two people who are not in the same click in high school but starts to interact with each other. A traumatising incident caused the popular girl Kit to suddenly sit at David's table.  It's definitely something that has never happened to David as he eats alone all the time. He rather have the quietness than to be bothered but why did Kit sat with him. 

I like how the author emphasise on biracial as it's not a topic often talked about, especially for those who are in America as from where I am it's quite common but there are always issues involved. I'm pretty sure it's the typical ones such as cultural differences, religious practises and principles while growing up. For someone like Kit who is half and half it's quite hard to get the correct footing as people would ask that question of "so what race are you". I find it quite rude but then again children are innocent because they don't understand how it impacts the person asked. That is just part of the important topic, another one would be a socially awkward child and how he fits in high school. 

I find David's perspective to be interesting to read when he is all alone thinking about his peers, how he views them and how his sisters gives him warning about those people. Of course all those socially awkward people are not entirely the same but they do go through the same struggles, trying to either fit in or be invisible. Of course we will never see the end of the "normal" people judging them and the extreme ones will bully. 

When those two interact, what are the conversations and activities that they partake, how they feel about each other are parts that enhances their personalities. I totally loved how the author manage to make the story flow without boring the readers, everything was light and easy yet a heavy message was subtlety told. Having a simple plot yet giving it life through the emotions and reactions of the characters made you feel closer to them. Lastly, how they grow directed the book to its plot twists.

A good page turner, this thin book packs a punch to your emotions and leaves quite an impression. For all those contemporary young adult lovers, this is one book you should not miss. I have heard that the author's debut was good, so after reading this I am convinced to pick up that other book.

Words in Deep Blue

Years ago, Rachel had a crush on Henry Jones. The day before she moved away, she tucked a love letter into his favorite book in his family's bookshop. She waited. But Henry never came. Now Rachel has returned to the city- and to the bookshop- to work alongside the boy she'd rather not see, if at all possible, for the rest of her life. But Rachel needs the distraction, and the escape. Her brother drowned months ago, and she can't feel anything anymore.

As Henry and Rachel work side by side- surrounded by books, watching love stories unfold, exchanging letters between the pages- they find hope in each other. Because life may be uncontrollable, even unbearable sometimes. But it's possible that words, and love, and second chances are enough. - excerpt from book.

Words in Deep Blue by Cath Crowley is about a girl who left town and came back 3 years after and things that follow after it.. I'm often paranoid when it comes to reading new authors as I don't know what to expect and books aren't exactly cheap where I am. If a book isn't satisfying then I've wasted my time and money. Going into this without expectations with just a high Goodreads rating, I was captivated. The title certainly resonates well with the story. Words inside this book will speak to you, will pull at your heartstrings and lastly it will make you think hard about life.

The book swaps POV between Rachel and Henry and with some letters in between which plays so well in escalating emotions in the story. Having a character named Henry instantly boosted the rating, I'm being silly but much books that I read, all the Henry's are such sweeties and wonderful people. This one no doubt is another addition to the Henry's in my book world. I cannot stress how much I want to help him, how much I wanted to talk to him to come to a realisation but that's not my job but other characters'. His feelings, behaviours and interactions are brought to life with simple yet truthful words. 

Rachel is a character that has a great struggle and it slowly unveils through her thoughts and emotions. Her thoughts capture my attention again and again as I could somehow relate to her and understand her so well. Rachel and I we both have something in common hence my heart is being tugged multiple times through her reaction to the world and life itself. The side characters are not redundant as they all play crucial parts in changing and helping the growth of the main characters. Interactions between them are often intriguing never boring.  

The plot has a simple concept and a focused goal but it will not disappoint. It tells the story smoothly and poetically at times. The time frame covered in the present and past are not too extensively long yet it packs a lot into it. The pace of the book is just perfect giving you enough time to learn and love the characters. There aren't any twist and turns just important events in the book that impacts the characters. 

I could go on and on but where's the fun if I reveal too much. This is one thin contemporary book but it's worth every word read. This book made me cry as it brought out emotions and a past that is hard to forget, grieve is certainly well written in this story. This is possibly one of the best YA contemporary I've read this year which I gave a 5 star on Goodreads. Please try this book out if you want something real and true about life. To end I would like to share this sentence that I absolutely loved: 

"Words matter, in fact. They're not pointless, as you've suggested. If they were pointless, then they wouldn't start revolutions and they wouldn't change history. ~ If they were just words, people wouldn't fall in love because of them, feel bad because of them, ache because of them, and stop aching because of them."- pg 210

All The Bright Places

Theodore Finch is fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he might kill himself. But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him. 

Violet Markey lives for the future, counting the days until graduation, when she can escape her Indiana town and her aching grief in the wake of her sister's recent death.

When Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at school, it's unclear who saves whom. And when they pair up on a project to discover the 'natural wonders' of their state, both Finch and Violet make more important discoveries: It's only with Violet that Finch can be himself - a weird, funny, live-out-loud guy who's not such a freak after all. And it's only with Finch that Violet can forget to count away the days and start living them. But as Violet's world grows, Finch's begins to shrink. - excerpt from Goodreads.

All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven  is a standalone book in the contemporary young adult. There were many good reviews about the book and many have loved it and cried over it. I went in with quite high expectations and honestly I've read very good books on grieving. Unfortunately, it was an okay book for me. I think the problem I had with the book is I couldn't connect with the characters nor could I relate to them.

The main characters consist of the girl and guy with dual point of views written. I didn't feel that Violet's grief was strong enough nor did it impact me till it reminded me of my own grief. I felt she was a character that had not enough depth. Fortunately she did had much growth in the book and that was good to read about. As for Theo he was someone that I had a hard time understanding. He is a character that seemed to have too much thoughts and also there seems to be too much happening for him or nothing at all. I felt that their interaction in the book was okay, realistic enough but not deep enough.

As for the plot of the book, it was just mediocre and not enough twist and turns happening. I took some time to complete the book. I do appreciate the dual perspective in the story because it was interesting to know what both parties think and do. I don't think I can comment more about the plot because there was nothing to applaud nor was there anything to complain about. I do think that the last parts of the book is the best part. 

In summary, it was an okay book about grieving and a person who was suicidal. I like the intention of the author for writing this book because it does pass an important message to the readers. Because I've read quite a few books related to grieving written by Jandy Nelson, I compared it. Obviously, Jandy Nelson is more superior and I cried reading both her books. For this book, I did not cry and it was not a page turner for me. I could easily put down the book. I'm kinda sad that I did not enjoy this book like the others but I wanted to write an honest review. My suggestion is to read this book before Jandy Nelson's so you wouldn't compare it like I did. PS: I heard there will be a movie made based on this book, so I'm looking forward to the actor's portray of the characters.

The Start of Me and You

It's been one year since it happened....

When Paige Hancock's first boyfriend died in a swimming accident, she shut out almost everyone. Now Paige has decided it's finally time to rejoin the world, and she has a plan. First on the list: go out with Ryan Chase, her longtime and newly single crush. And last on the list: swim. Terrifying, yet possible?

But when Ryan's sweet, nerdy cousin Max moves to town and recruits Paige for the QuizBowl team (of all things!), her perfect plan is thrown for a serious loop. Starting over isn't easy, but Paige knows the scariest things are usually the most difficult. Can she face her fears and open herself up to life and love again? - excerpt from book

The Start of You and Me by Emery Lord is a story about a teenage girl who is dealing with her grief and trying to live life again after hiding for a year. I really love this book as I could relate to her feelings and what she is trying to do with her life. Obviously there are certain circumstances that are different between us but the grieve and wanting to start again is quite true.

The plot of the story was really smooth and I really like the incidents that happened in the book. I like how the twist and turns of the story suite the personality of the main character. Everything happens in such good timing and it was such fun reading about her activities. There were good times and sad times and many fun times in the book.

The characters of the book are truly the people who captured me. The friends and family surrounding the main character were such awesome people. Though they are flawed but perfect for the story. The support they offer to the main character was just so heart warming. I would really loved to have more friends like them. I honestly can say that I grieve a lot on my own and did not have many friends reaching out to me but Paige's friends were just there for her and they are a tight group. As for the boys in the book, they are wonderful boys and I loved reading about their interactions with Paige. Often their activities are ones that fun to read about. One of the family members of the character was also such a great support to her and offered many great advice in life.

Summerlost

Summer would be same and never the same.

Last summer we had a dad and a brother and then they were gone.

It's been a year since the devastating car accident that killed Cedar's father and young brother, Ben. But now Cedar and what's left of her family are spending the summer in her mother's hometown of Iron Creek and trying to amend their broken pieces. Memories surround Cedar, including strange gifts that begin to appear in the night- the type of small household items her brother Ben used to collect.

Until one day a boy named Leo, dressed in costume, rides by on his bike, and everything about Cedar's summer changes. Soon, Cedar not only has a jov working at the reowned Summerlost theater festival, but also a growing friendship with Leo that will blossom as they piece together clues about the short and tragic life of one of Iron Creek's most famous residents. - excerpt from book.

Summerlost by Ally Condie is a standalone middle grade book. It's about this girl who is 12 years old and trying to grief on her father and brother's death. Her summer is totally different because of the missing family members. I really like the characters of this book because it's quite realistic. I could sort of relate to them easily and how they try to deal with their grief. I loved the activities that the festival has, it was quite interesting. I also love the interactions between characters especially Cedar and Leo, Cedar and her other younger brother. I definitely look forward to reading about them all the time. The side chracters are really interesting people too and I wished the author would have gave them more depth like Leo's family.

The plot of the book was very basic and simple with the topic of grieving as the main thing. This was a really short read and so there weren't too many twists and turns, just a reasonable amount. The flow was really smooth, everything happened at a good pace. I truly wished that their adventures would be longer so I would have more to read. I love the writing of the book as how the author managed to describe Cedar's feelings simple yet wonderful at the same time.

If you tend to enjoy middle grade books then do give this book a try. I find that even though it was short it captured my attention well and I love how I could relate to the book. I love that I learnt new things when it comes to the subject of grieving. 

When We Collided

Seventeen-year-old Jonah Daniels has lived in Verona Cove, California, his whole life and only one thing has changed: his father used to be alive, and now he's not. Reeling from the tragedy, Jonah  must take care of his family.

Enter Vivi Alexander, new girl in town.

Vivi is in love with life. A gorgeous, unfiltered hurricane of thoughts and feelings, she transforms Jonah's family and changes his life. But there are always consequences when worlds collide... - excerpt from book.

When We Collided by Emery Lord is about a girl and a boy falling in love but having struggles of their own at the same time. This is my first time picking up a contemporary book from this author reason because there was a lot of hype in the bookstagram community. The book cover is indeed very attractive and artistic to look at. As for the book itself I find it just okay, I liked it but I didn't love it to recommend it to people. If you pass on this book, you're not missing out at all. 

The plot of the book was okay and kinda predictable for me. I could already predict Vivi's secret easily. I find that this book did not have enough twists and turns but instead it was just a slow ascend up to the twist and then it sloped down. I was kinda disappointed with the relationship because I actually wanted more interactions. I couldn't feel a connection between the characters. The bond between the side characters were also not strong enough. The only thing I enjoy very much is the dual perspective of the book.

Sadly it took me some time to finish this book because it could not capture  my attention well enough. I understand that this book touches the topic of grieving and mental issues but it's just not strong enough to make a statement in my heart. I too am grieving but I can't connect with Jonah at all, it doesn't feel real enough. I would not recommend it to readers who want to try this author perhaps another book of hers. But if you're a fan of hers go ahead and get this book. It wasn't bad just wasn't good enough. 

Top 5 Wednesday - Books with "Hard" Topics

Very often we read for entertainment and enjoyment, thus romance books will lift up your mood, fantasy and science fiction for an adventure. When it comes to contemporary books, sometimes it touches topics that hard such as mental illness, sexual assault, incurable sickness and etc. Those are topics that are brooding and often puts people in deep thoughts. I quite like books like these, not because I like tragic things but it's how the author convey their message. How realistic they can make a story be that's important and of course it builds compassion. Often than not, these books touches a person's heart and that is the ultimate goal of a good author (IMO). So here is my list not in any particular order:

A Step Towards Falling

Now this book is the first hard topic book that I picked up this year and I went in without any expectations. I really really liked it because it talks about autism, about standing by and not doing anything. It is a hard topic because when a person is helpless and you did nothing, what are the consequences, what should have been done and of course the impact on the victim. This author gave the perspectives of the victim (who has autism) and the teenager who did nothing to help. What this book invoked in me is more understanding towards people with disability. Review here: http://www.anythingbuteverything.com/2016/02/a-step-toward-falling.html

The Sky is Everywhere

This book talks about grief which is quite a difficult topic to approach because everyone deals with it differently. When I was reading this book, the incident where my love passed away has yet to happen. I can say at the moment when I finish the book I felt that life is hard especially when a tragedy happens in your life so suddenly. When dealing with grief in the family, everyone has a different relationship with the person but it's healthy to grief together. So fast forward to now and thinking about this book I sort of felt that the timing is just too coincidental. Why did I pick up that book that time and it feels like God was already sending me messages or preparing me for the battle ahead. Review here: http://www.anythingbuteverything.com/2015/09/the-sky-is-everywhere.html

Review of 2015

Before I gather my thoughts for this post, I always look back at what I've written at the start of the year, my resolutions and my review of the previous year. I realized that 2014 was a tough year for me but I had support endlessly which I'm forever grateful for. Thinking that 2014 was tough, 2015 was worse, it was bitter sweet. Sadly it was more bitter than sweet, never would I have thought that I would have to go through this in such early stages of my life. I saw that I put importance on health and not taking life for granted in my review posts which somehow along the months I suddenly have forgotten. 

For the first 9 months of the year, there were some struggles but it had not crossed my mind that it was hard or tough and this was until an incident changed my life forever. My significant other passed away on 22nd October. That was the worst day of my entire life. I cannot even put words to how I felt that morning when I received the news. His heart stopped beating in the morning where he was in the hospital.

It's still hard to talk about what happened so I'll write it in a different post on a different day. When he left, I lost my best friend, my lover, my family, my soul mate and a big chunk of me. The pain is still here and will continue to be with me as 2016 goes on. His death truly reminded me that health is important and during all days that has passed since my family have been supportive. I am forever grateful to my family especially my mother and my sister who have been with me. They truly showed me so much love and care.

I just one day at a time, I do not want to think too much. For now, I just want to grief his death so I didn't bother to think about the resolutions that I have set out for 2015. Honestly, I tried my best and with the events that happened I don't really care whether I succeed or failed but I will evaluate myself. Below are my 2015 resolutions and my progress.

• Eat healthily (I did manage to drink more water, less soda and also ate more vegetables)
• Exercise once a week (Nope)
• Plan my week and try to execute the plans (Worked for some weeks not all the time)
• Plan more blog posts (Failed)
• Learn more web development (Learnt a bit of javascript but have not practice it) 
• Be more positive (I think I was for a brief moment) 
• Grow more as person (I do care less what people think)
• Always think before I speak (Yeap)
• Control my emotions (Nope)
• Read 50 books (Only managed 43 books)

In the end, I feel that nothing matters anymore without him by my side. I just carry on and live while hoping that I will see him again someday. I will forever remember 2015 because of the pain and devastation that has struck my life.  To those who had a great year I'm envious of you, and to those who had a terrible year I pray that it will get better for you. What I plan to do for the year I will post about my resolutions for 2016. but it won't be much as some days I have motivation, some days I have none.